Maybe it's because I've been up since super early. Maybe it's because my husband's long work hours. Maybe it's because I have a huge trip to prepare for. Maybe it's because I fed my child a pop tart for breakfast and felt sooo guilty [minorly grossed out] by that. Maybe it's because my house never feels clean enough. Maybe it's because I folded 5 loads of laundry today and we all know how grouchy that can make me. Maybe it's because I've hopped on the crazy train.
I have felt like such a grump lately, and because of that I have a good dose of mom-guilt to go along with it.
Today as I was scrubbing my kitchen counters during nap time, being mad that I spend my free moments cleaning almost every. single. time. Right then it occurred to me that it's not so important if every crumb is off my floor. It's not so important if Grace decides to throw her meals [that I worked so hard to prepare for her] off her tray rather than eat them. What is more perhaps even most important is the attitude that I have everyday.
The thing that makes a house a home isn't tidiness, it's the laughter, the joy, the hugs, the peace that you feel when you are all there together. Those things are virtually nonexistent every time I am stressing over the chores or the crumbs or whatever is under my skin that day.
I don't really think that our kids will remember whether or not all the laundry was put away, if the floors were swept, or the counters were wiped down. What they will remember is if their mom radiated love & happiness to them. Or whether she was a positive force in their lives rather than a nagging one [I tend to stay more on the nagging side I think.]
The best thing that I can give my family is a smile when they're around, a hug when they walk in the door, and a kiss before they go to sleep. Maybe a meal or two mixed in there. Sometimes I feel like it is an art form to stop worrying about all the little things, and start living in the sweet moments.