The truth about being a stay at home mom.

Thursday, October 20, 2011
We just moved which means that I have met a lot of new people in the last two weeks. When  you first meet another person there is a series of questions that are always asked in the initial conversation. 

"Where are you from?"
 "Why did you move here?"
"How long have you been married?"
"How many kids do you have?"
"So, do you work?"

Without a second thought I always reply, "No, I just stay at home." 

Well, yesterday was a particularly rough day in the Allen household. The babe is fighting getting her two front teeth, she's fussy, she doesn't like sleeping in her pack and play [her crib broke in the moving trailer], she crawls but wants to walk, she gets into everything, and she cries the moment I walk out of the room. 
I thought to myself  how hard it is to be a mom, and how almost every single time after I give my answer, I get the, "Ooh, you JUST stay at home?!" And it comes with a certain "look", you stay at home moms know exactly the "look" I'm talking about.

Let me tell you, I was one of you. I always grew up thinking that I would work after I had kids because being a SAHM was what lazy women did. I thought it was a cop out. Well, then I got married, got my own home, and then came our little bundle of joy... and then all the "things" started to add up. 

I soon found out that house work + child care = not an easy gig.

Don't get me wrong, I did go back to work for a few months when Grace was a few months old and I know being a working mom is not easy either... I just think that being a SAHM is so commonly perceived as the easy thing for a woman to do once she has kids. I am here to tell you friends, it is not easy.

I've been thinking about all the jobs that being a wife and mother entails. Here are some of the few skills and jobs that if you're going to be a stay-at-home-mom you must master: 

personal assistant
house keeper
organization specialist
style consultant
interior decorator
personal shopper

Let me tell you, if you slack at any of the above jobs there are some tough critics out there.
Though I am lucky and blessed to be given the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom, I don't think any of  us are JUST moms. We do a lot most days a combination of all the jobs listed above. The hours are much longer than a day job, we work before sun up to well after sun down each and every day. Our main goal is much larger than just keeping one boss happy. We aim to keep not only our family healthy, happy, but our homes a peaceful & positive environment to teach, foster, and raise our children into responsible, strong, well rounded adults.


Cathy Hatch said...

I enjoyed your thoughts on motherhood and appreciate your thinking. Now times that by five children and working too and I don't know how I ever got it all done. Nice blanket in the picture.

lori said...

i am not a mother yet... and i have no clue if i will be a stay at home mom, or if i will be a working mom (we'll figure out whats right for us when the time comes)... but i really appreciate your thoughts on it! i plan on having a babe in the next couple of years (tops) and like to hear other's experiences and opinions on motherhood.

i know that being a SAHM is hard work. my mom did it... and my sister in law is now doing it. all of you SAHMs have my respect!

Pattie said...

You said a mouth full! I try to explain this to people at times but I get all tongue tied, but you summed it up quite nicely!